You’re probably wondering why I started my life update on February instead of January... it’s simply because my life hasn’t been interesting ever since 2018 started, well actually, since the last quarter of 2017. Not that my February is more interesting, it’s just that I feel like I’ve surpassed my “writer’s block” phase and it feels like I wasn't really... living.

Honestly, I’ve been really having a hard time adjusting with life. I went from being the girl with a plan to seizing the moment. From being a corporate robot to a free bird. Everything turned 360°, and I lost control of everything.

I’ve never admitted this to my family and friends, but life has been pretty lonely and exhausting for the past few months. I rarely go out, hell waking up in the morning is the last thing I want to do. My siblings are basically begging me to socialize, but I always choose the company of my bed and my dogs. I may seem happy in person or on social media, but in reality, when I’m on my own, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing with my life. I never treated this as depression, because I know there's a lot of people out there who are going through a lot more deeper issues than mine. I wasn't happy nor sad... I wasn't really feeling anything. I'm trying my best to look good and happy, but maybe I was looking for happiness in all the wrong places.

It feels like you're running out of time, you can't run or hide, and you have no other choice but to stay where you are. I had no idea when I admitted everything of this to myself, but things are changing and I can’t keep up. Suddenly, It’s exhausting to be me.

Time has been my enemy. 

I was broken-hearted. Broken-hearted for my life. Broken-hearted for myself.

But I woke up one day and realized that I don't want to live in my own pity party.

So, I think I’m okay now.

Here’s what I’ve been up to:
  • My parents went on a trip so I took over the family business for a while. Honestly, I’m so glad for this opportunity because I’m so busy and productive I don’t have time to feel worthless and lonely anymore. It’s fun to be useful!
  • My girl best friend is back so Clare and Michelle Photography is back on business. Also, she’s been helping me with content shoots for my fashion blog posts, so I can be more consistent with fashion and lifestyle blogging. Watch out for those! 
  • My college buddy and I are working on something we've been dreaming for years. I think it also helped why everything is suddenly in perspective.
  • I'm also venturing in the fashion industry! I'm teaming up with a fashion entrepreneur whom I know way back in high school. I can't wait to share it with you guys.
  • I'm reading again! I’ve been avoiding books for 4 months (longest time I’ve never read), because there’s this someone who introduced me to a whole new world of fiction, but he broke my heart so I changed the way I looked at fiction. BUT I’m coming to terms with it so... I’m back with my fictional boyfriends.
  • I’m so excited for March! Not because of my birthday, but I’m finally travelling again! After months and months! 

I’m generally excited about life now.

    *Photo by Miguel Constantin Montes